Being the responsible blogger that I am, I feel it is my duty to write about all the good and wonderful things that Miss Sami does; however, we must be honest here in bloggerland, and admit there are also the not-so-good days in our lives. We had one of those days last Friday....
Wednesday:
Actually, it kinda started on Wednesday morning, when Sami woke up and informed me she wasn't going to school. We got up, ate breakfast, got dressed and headed for the door-- all the while with Sami statingshe would not be getting out of the car when we got there. So we went to school, and she refused to get out of the car. So I said "fine, we'll just wait," and turned off the engine thinking I could smoke her out eventually (you see its 100 degrees here and cars get hot pretty fast.) So we sat there, and sat there. My make-up was starting to run and my hair was getting frizzy, but I waited. every couple minutes she would calmly say, "I'm NOT getting out of the car." Finally, I say, "listen, I have to go to work, so if you won't go to class, you will have to sit in the Principle's office all day." She called my bluff and said, "OK" and got out of the car. By then all the kids had gone inside, so we went through the main doors to the school. Just our luck, the Principle is standing right there next to the tardy-slip lady. Sami is crying and says she does want to go to class because she will miss her mommy. He steps right in and starts chatting her up, as they walk away to her classroom with barely a backwards wave and "Bye mom!" slung in my direction... Whatever, small failure on my part, but at least she went to class.
Friday:
Fast forward now to Friday. The day begins well, with Sami saying she will have a great day, etc. We get to school and she won't leave my side. The bells rings. She runs away and stands just outside the gates. I coax her back, we put her backpack on and I walk her to her class's line. Just as I turn to leave, she tearfully asks for another hug. I oblige by walking back over to her and hugging her- (mistake #1- never leave the designated parent drop off area.) The line starts to move and she clings to me crying, "Mommy I don't want to leave you!" so I say I'll walk her to the outside doors- (mistake #2- never oblige a crying child further to avoid making a scene, it will only give the child time to think up more ways to embarrass you in front of all the parents of compliant kids.) When we get to the outside doors, she is trying to turn around and walk the other way, still crying. I turn her around and say I'll walk her up to the classroom door- (mistake #3- see mistake number 2.) The whole class files in past her as she stands in the hallway crying and looking pat me for other exits. The teacher goes in and closes the door, leaving us in the hallway alone to "negotiate" further. No luck. Teacher comes out and says "time's up Sami, say goodbye to mommy." She hugs me, takes one step forward, then drops to the ground in protest, at which time the teacher pulls her inside, (with me pushing from behind--Sami is strong,) and we get the door closed. I actually had to stay up against the door for a minute because Sam was still trying to get out! I hear the teacher speaking with her and I figure they'll work it out, so I make a quick exit before she spots me through the little window. I think to myself, "ugh! glad that's over!" - (mistake #4- don't assume its over, just because you got away...) It was my day off, so I set off to run my errands. I had a nagging feeling so I called the school at about 9:45, just to make sure all was well. The lady says, "hold on, the Principle wants to talk to you." Yeah, this can't be good. He comes onto the phone and says Sami is back in her classroom now (back?) and was doing better. He then tells me she had a total meltdown earlier which included screaming, yelling and throwing chairs,and that she hit the teacher. He asks that I work with her this weekend and to get to the "root of the problem" because her behavior was unacceptable. I briefly give him a little background on Sami and what she has been through in the last 3 years. I told him, not to get sympathy or make excuses, but to qualify my next statement which was, "I admit it - I have spoiled her rotten, she has not had enough consequences for her behavior. I'll own that." But it was still very frustrating to me because she has been doing so well at school until that point. Anyway, I assure him the matter will be addressed at home and we sign off. For the rest of the morning I plan my attack: lock all toys in the playroom, no tv, no computer, no playdates or outings, and no fun for the whole weekend. I went and had a nice lunch with a friend, thinking I had everything all figured out. - (mistake #5- thinking you've got it all figured out... kids can always come up with more.)
After lunch, I head over to my salon for a waxing appointment. I check in five minutes early, and am sitting there enjoying a lovely glass of lemonade when, of course- you guessed it, my phone rings. I foolishly answer it and its the Principle, of course. Seems Sami has had another outburst in class and been brought to his office for the second time in one day. He informs me that he school day needs to be over now, and could someone please come pick her up. So I cancel my appointment, (I am sure there will be a charge for that,) and head straight over to the school. I walk into the office and Sami is sitting at the little table, reading a book and eating her Chapstick. She looks up and smiles at me, "Hi mom!" we meet with the principle, where Sami refuses to provide any explanation for her most recent outburst except that she was having trouble cutting out circles correctly. After she is placed back out at the waiting table, the principle proceeds to tell me her behavior that day was, "beyond the 'normal' kindergarten tantrums they see," and that if it keeps happening perhaps she's not ready for school at this time. Huh? All my frustrations and anger finally boil over and I started crying. In front of the principle. Then, instead of taking a minute to collect myself, I feel the need to keep trying to talk- (general mistake- don't try to talk when you're crying because it just makes weird little , high pitched sounds come out of your mouth and you look like and even bigger ass than you already are.) I calm down, I again agree to work with her over the weekend, and he says to come see him on Monday if I think she's ready to come back. (if?)
Consequences:
When we got home, I calmly put all Sami's toys into the playroom and locked the door. I explained she would have no TV, no computer and basically nothing fun for the rest of the weekend. We discussed the err of her ways and I told her if she behaved at school ALL week, maybe she'd get TV back next Friday. I kept a bland poker face all weekend (I had all the affect of a mugshot,) and spoke to her in monotone, making my best attempt at being absolutely, in no uncertain terms, NO FUN. Sami did her best to find quiet things to do around the house. I read a whole book and got all my laundry done. Sami entertained herself with a Dixie cup and a straw for two hours on Sunday morning. But I didn't break, and she knew better than to try. Sunday afternoon we wrote up a "Good Behavior Promise" that I made her sign her name to after every line, and Sami wrote and apology to her teacher.
Today:
Monday morning - We met with the principle, showed him her promise sheet and apology, and she said she would do better. He agreed to let her come back to school and thanked her for saying she will not hit anyone else. (He is a very nice man.) we went to the playground, she gave the teacher the note and again said she was sorry. The teacher hugged her, and Sami ran off to play with her friends, stopping briefly to wave and say "goodbye mom, you can go now." So I left and went to work, where I sat all day waiting for my cell phone to ring... I won't get the scoop until tonight, since Jenna is the one who picks her up from school when I'm working.
So, how do you think it went at school?
I'll post more tonight when I find out...
Tonite:
The answer is : GOOD! -The teacher said today was Sami's best day since the beginning of school! So score one for discipline. Sami was jabbering about her school day all through dinner. So far so good. Keep your fingers crossed for the rest of the week. I realize this was a long post, but it needed to be written so I could get it all out of my head! I'll keep you all posted on the situation. I am just glad today went well for her.
Goodnight all!
